51 Comments
User's avatar
Griffin Gooch's avatar

Been waiting for this for months and did NOT disappoint

A. A. Kostas's avatar

The quiet truth is that good things come to those who wait

Grace Leuenberger's avatar

your endorsement means a lot 2 me

Abbi Bodager's avatar

This has to be the most entertaining Substack post I’ve read (and I’m sure many will find your answers to be strangely beneficial haha). I hope there will be a part two!

A. A. Kostas's avatar

Haha thank you! The quiet truth is that the 'part 2' will be the friends we made along the way.

Abbi Bodager's avatar

Good answer! 😂 I still might consider starting a petition for a sequel though jk

Grace Leuenberger's avatar

I can only hope someone out there will give planes a chance after reading this

Abbi Bodager's avatar

🤣

Earl Grey Gazette's avatar

You can be my sole provider of solicited advice for the rest of my life… talking to you, snail mail.

Grace Leuenberger's avatar

My mailbox is open and my stamps are at the ready

A. A. Kostas's avatar

Hey don't discount AI!

Earl Grey Gazette's avatar

🫣

Sandrina de Klerk's avatar

You guys are the BOAT

A. A. Kostas's avatar

Big Tallmast Ship BOATED

Kayla Norris's avatar

seriously this is the BOAT

A. A. Kostas's avatar

call this post a yacht because it's so boated

Wein Lau's avatar

I’m really glad that AI chatbots don’t actually have a menacing sense of dark humour, because if they did I would find it difficult not to amuse myself talking to them…

Anyway, this was an amazing read, and the roles you took somehow fit (what I know parasocially of) your personalities perfectly!

A. A. Kostas's avatar

I am truthfully very AI-coded

Grace Leuenberger's avatar

I am truthfully relieved that somehow we pulled this one off. Thank you for your support and readership!

Irene Lalhmangaihi's avatar

It feels like Snail Mail is quietly replacing AI here. I was entertained. Thank you for this.

Julie's avatar

Did not disappoint.

A. A. Kostas's avatar

Thank goodness!

Caleb Renich's avatar

Utterly delightful! Watching AI evolve from GPT to supervillain over the course of his responses had me absolutely cackling 😂 Y’all are incredibly talented!

Grace Leuenberger's avatar

We had fun and that’s what matters (legally, we cannot be held accountable for what consequences comes from those who take this advice)

A. A. Kostas's avatar

Supervillain is exactly what I was aiming for

Crystal Cunningham's avatar

Absolutely hilarious. Got me through my last 15 minutes of work laughing

A. A. Kostas's avatar

This is truly our goal

William Poulos's avatar

Bravo!

discovery's avatar

better than AI! probably uses less water too!

A. A. Kostas's avatar

Actually, I drink gallons of the stuff so I might be worse for the environment

Jed Meyers's avatar

YOU GUYS! This was brilliant. 👏🏼

A. A. Kostas's avatar

I totally agree with you

Racquel James Esau's avatar

Snail Mail wins the day with her helpful and sensitive(!) advice. Also with her consistent hatred toward 2-factor authentication.

However, the rank speciesism AI seems to carry toward trolls is frankly concerning! There are among us trolls of Vast Intelligence(also, more pertinently here, ones of Average Intelligence), and one must be quite quick of wit if one does not want to lose a limb in a riddle match(threat). I suppose AI need not worry, since it has not a single leg to speak of.

I’ll throw a dog a(pre-chewed) bone for the career ideas though.

Thay wur kwite gud🧌

A. A. Kostas's avatar

I'm shocked and appalled at how speciest you are against AI entities

Racquel James Esau's avatar

Co🫵py🫵cat🫵 I was offended first!

Abigail's avatar

I love you both so much. This collab made my week!🤣🤣🤣

Alexandra O’Sullivan's avatar

This is one of the most entertaining things I’ve ever read on Substack. PLZ do another

A. A. Kostas's avatar

Haha seems like we're going to have to!

Christina Book's avatar

I hope this is the beginning of an ongoing trend to bring back advice columns.

A. A. Kostas's avatar

I think Grace has a calling

Christina Book's avatar

Agreed. I’d write into her column regularly.